The Hugging Bet
by YukiGirl21
Summary: Tony made a bet with the other Avengers to see which of them would be able to give the crazed super villain, Loki, a hug first out of all of them, after finding out Loki's past from Thor. One way or another, they agree, and The Hugging Bet is on and the stakes are high...let the madness commence. Warning: High levels of humor and retardness and of course, some OOCness. /Crackfic/
1. And So The Bet Is Made

**Summary: The Avengers wonder why Loki became the crazed supervillain he is today. Thor tells them his past, and they think all the villain needs is a huge hug…So it leads to Tony making a bet with the rest to see who would get to hug Loki first without getting killed. Let the madness commence...**

**Genre: Humor/Friendship. Possibly a little bit of a crackfic. **

**~0o0o0o~**

Up until this point, Steve had to give Loki the benefit of the doubt. Sure, the crazy guy killed over thousands of people, tried to take over humanity, almost destroyed one of America's greatest cities, and brought a deadly alien race to Earth—but _what_ caused his actions? One thing for sure, Steve did _not_ think whatever the reason Loki has for his actions will justify anything, but he couldn't help but _wonder..._He was no therapist, but he was sure that most criminals or villains he knew (or knew from watching cop/detective shows) usually have a sad past. Or something like that.

"Hey, Thor?" Steve asks the God of Thunder. Right now, the Avengers are all seated inside Tony's living room, eating shawarma. They ordered it after hearing Loki had escaped his prison from Asgard. And they just needed a damn break. (All of them were still on a shawarma kick ever since Loki's attempt to take over the world about a week ago. It never gets old.)

"'Wath ith youth asth Man ofth Shieldth?" Thor asks through a mouthful of shawarma, as chunks of meat fly out of his mouth. Tony glares at him indignantly, throwing him a napkin.

"Woah there Shakespeare, learn some table manners. Your spit is flying all over the place, I don't want it to get on my carpet!" Tony scolds. Thor frowns at him, and messily wipes the napkin all over his face. It didn't really take off the food from his beard.

"Well," Steve begins, staring at his half eaten shawarma. "Do you think you can explain to us _why_ Loki is evil?"

Thor pauses. He slams his sandwich down on the table. "He is not _evil!_" He exclaims indignantly. "He is just…just…" Thor scrunches up his face, trying to find the words.

"What?" Clint snorts, unsympathetic. "Is he just _misunderstood?_" He says, clearly sarcastic.

Thor snaps his fingers, slapping his leg. "Yes, yes friend Clint! He is misunderstood!" He agrees enthusiastically.

Clint can only sigh, shaking his head. "Aaaanndd, you _still_ don't have a good grasp on sarcasm."

"Indeed!" Thor agrees cheerfully, slamming the table. It nearly breaks under his strength.

Tony does a facepalm, burying his face in his hand. "Please. Please stop slamming your hand on stuff."

"Thor, you have to define misunderstood. How is your brother 'misunderstood?'" Bruce emphasises to Thor.

"Yeah man. Now that I think of it, just why is Loki the crazy psycho guy we all know and hate today?" Tony chimes in. "What, did he have _daddy issues_ or something?" He snickers jokingly.

Thor gives out a gasp, chewed up pieces of food dropping out of his mouth. "Tony! Are you a sorcerer? Because you are right! I believe Loki has daddy issues!"

"Go figure." Natasha snorts, rolling her eyes apathetically. "What, did his dad abuse him or something?"

"No, no nothing like that!" Thor bellows. The lights above shake, looking on the verge of falling. Tony looked as if he were about to have a heart attack. Thor strokes his beard thoughtfully. "Though, Father _did _always favored me over him, gave me the heir to the throne, every Asgard citizen loved me, and I have a super special awesome magical hammer. Oh yeah, and Loki also founded out that he was adopted or something. But I cannot _imagine_ why it would lead up to Loki committing all of these atrocities!" He says dramatically.

The Avengers all look at Thor dubiously with a, _Are you serious?_ look.

"No wonder!" Bruce suddenly says. "Over the many years of childhood, adolescene, and young adulthood, pressure and stress builded up in your brother under all of the attention and favoritism that your father, including many others shower you with! When he found that he was adopted, he probably thought it was the very reason _why_ he was always being looked over, always desperate for your father's attention! Thus, it released all of the trauma and self-inferiority that built up over the years, leading him into a psychotic break! In short, your brother has an _extreme_ case of inferiority superiority complex!"

Everyone stares at the scientist, silent. "Ooh, Doctor Banner is a therapist!" Tony claps his hands.

Thor frowns, scratching his head. "Are you saying that he needs what I believe what you mortals call a, 'hug?'" He questions dubiously, probably not getting a word what Bruce said.

Banner nods his head. "Exactly—wait, what?!"

Tony nods, stroking his beard as well. "Yeah, yeah, I think Brucey here is onto something! There are just some type of villains that make you wanna give them a hug!"

"Do you think that can seriously work?" Steve asks aloud, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"If it will help my brother like Doctor Banner suggested—"

"I DID NOT SUGGEST THAT WE SHOULD HUG HIM." Banner interrupts, faint green veins standing out in his forehead. Tony pats his back. "Shh, let me presence calm yooouu…" The billionaire whispers to him in a rather creepy tone. Fortunately, the green veins vanish, and Banner swats away Tony with a lopsided smile.

"—Then I shall commence with the hugging!" Thor proclaims, with a face of determination. He slams a glass of orange juice down on the floor.

Tony makes a weird choking/wheezing sound as if something were dying. "No...no…" he gasps, his knees on the floor. He stares, horrified at the bright orange stain on his expensive white rug. "M-my...Persian rug...directly imported from Persia...that costed me 3,000 dollars...100 dollars additionally for shipping...wasted…" He whispers, pounding his head on the floor. Bruce pats his back, trying to hold back his laughter.

However, everyone else ignores the oh-so tragic lost of Tony's precious Persian rug, and continue talking.

Clint gives an incredulous look at his three teammates. "What, are you saying you want to hug Doctor Doom if given the chance?" Clint snarks, not liking where this is going.

"Woah, woah there, heed your snarkiness Mr. Smartass!" The CEO says with his usual melodramatic flair. "Let's not jump to conclusions, eh?"

"You didn't say no…" Clint mutters with a faint smirk.

Natasha raises an eyebrow at Tony and the rest. "Besides, there is one major flaw in your hugging therapy plan." She says in a serious voice.

"What would that be?" Steve, Tony, and Thor all ask in unison.

"That Loki will teleport you into another dimension with his magic if you so much touch a hair on his head." She states with a confident smirk.

"No!" Thor cries out. "That is impossible!"

"It is oh-so very possible." The redhead rolls her eyes.

"No! I'm saying it's impossible for Loki to teleport the three of us to another dimension with his magic! Only taking the Bifrost can do that." Thor states matter-a-factly. "As a matter of a fact, he would use his magic to turn us into a bunch of trolls!"

"That sounds pleasant. Not." Steve comments. \

"Well actually," Bruce pipes in, with his usual analytical sciency tone. "Hugging has been shown to boost helpful hormones and reduce the level of harmful hormonal effects, at least in controlled environments. It upgrades the mood and emotional health of one's mental state."

Everyone stares blankly at Banner once again.

"So we're gonna give dear old Reinder Games hugging therapy! Well, we have to listen to the orders of the doc!" Tony says, slamming a fist into a hand. His eyes suddenly lighten up. Bruce makes a fake frightened expression.

"Uh-oh, looks like the playboy billionaire philanthropist just came up with an idea!"

"Hell right!" Tony stands up, clapping his hands. "Listen up people! Let's make a bet!" He grins wickedly all the Avengers. "Whoever gets to hug Loki first and manage to make it back alive telling the tale, I'll give the winner five thousand dollars and a free vacation to Alaska!"

"But what if you win the bet Tony?" Bruce asks, a little cautious of joining the bet.

Tony shrugs carelessly. "Then you all treat me to the bar. And not tell Pepper." He whispers the last part, with a mischievous wink. The rest groan and frown at Tony.

"And why Alaska?" Natasha questions bluntly, though a little interested by this little bet. It would be nice to go on a vacation without worrying about assassinating or spying on anyone for a change…

Tony shrugs. "Fine, a free vacation to wherever you want with a fake passport and identity!"

"Is that legal?" Clint points out.

"Is giving those smuggled really expensive one of a kind bullets to Natasha for her birthday legal?" Tony shoots back with a taunting voice.

Clint glares at him glancing around to everyone. "Don't tell Fury."

"I won't if you're in the bet."

Hawkeye sighs, giving in. "You got me. Fine. But I'm going to win."

"Is that so?"

"You're sure as hell!"

"Well, don't forget you're going to be competing against me." Natasha says to Clint with a tricky smile. He smiles back at her, with a competitive edge to it.

"I'm not gonna go easy on you Black Widow."

"Me neither Katniss." She smirks.

Thor stands up. "So it is a bet! We will see who shall give my brother Loki the HUGS." He declares, a little too enthusiastic.

Steve sighs, watching from a distance. He probably should've kept his mouth shut from asking Thor about Loki's motives. Now the six Avengers are in a bet to see who will hug the crazy super-villain first. And might possibly die and/or get turned into trolls in the process. Oh great.


	2. The Stakes Are Set

**A/N: Wow, so many reviews already? I honestly did not expect it for this fic. XD**

AlexHolmes: Haha! I love it!

Who shall win the hug war?!

I can't wait to read more!

**We'll see what we shall see for the winner… *smiles knowingly***

Guest: Pleaseeee write more of this!

**And indeed I will! Thanks for the review!**

guestgirl:This is gonna be awesome...please update soon!

**Aw yeah! I'm just gonna have so much fun writing this fic...so much fun… *smiles evilly and rubs hands***

Sweet-Strawberry-09: more this is funny

**Really, that's what you think? Why thank you! :D**

torchil:This sounds really adorable. I can't wait to see if anyone wins the bet!

**Haha, thanks! **

**~Chapter Two~**

Tony stares up at the ceiling, his mind already racing to think up of a game plan to win the bet. Besides him, sleeps Pepper, her soft and even breathing heard like a rhythmetic beat. Interrupted occasionally by a loud snore, which Tony found seriously endearing. He gives out a sigh, stretching out his arms. He wouldn't be so winded up about this, if Clint hadn't raised the stakes…

_**EARLIER THAT DAY…**_

"So it is a bet! We will see who shall give my brother Loki the HUGS." Thor proclaims, a huge ecstatic grin on his face.

"Just so you know guys, Pepper told me that I'm quite the good hugger, so watch your backs...because I'm totally going to beat all of you." Tony says to his friends with a cocky smile. "I'm so going to hug Loki first…!" He sees the smirks and smiles of the others, and pauses. "Huh. Never thought that I would _ever_ say that...there's a first for everything!"

Clint gives Tony a jaunty smile. "You're right. There _is_ a first for everything...Because what the hell kind of bet are we having if there are no certain penalties that would be made, eh?" A glint of malice is seen in Clint's dark eyes, as he surveys the group. The rest give him confused and cautious looks.

However, Tony is interested. "Elaborate, elaborate." He says, as he pours himself some brandy.

A grin widens on the archer's face. "I'm saying that when the rest of us lose, there should be a punishment penalty...for example, if Thor were to lose...well, I recall reading some Norse legends lately. And one of them was a legend about Thor dressing up in a wedding dress to marry some giant. In the end, he killed the giant and his friends. While doing it all in a wedding dress." Clint pauses, glancing at Thor with a smug smile.

The Avengers couldn't help but chuckle at this and look questionably at Thor. He flips his golden locks, his confident air not wavering at all. "I believe that I looked quite 'fabulous' as you mortals would say. I did it—FOR HONOR!" Thor yells, flipping over the coffee table. Tony does a spittake, falling to his knees once again.

"No…! My state of the art custom made mahogony table imported directly from Switzerland...wrecked…" Tony says mournfully, gazing at his dead coffee table's broken legs. Bruce could only pat his back in comfort, while the others once again ignored the death of Tony's precious possessions.

Clint continues, "So if Thor were to lose the bet, his punishment is to crossdress in a pretty pink fabulous wedding dress—wearing make-up!" The archer quickly adds on, and smiles in triumph seeing the rigid, horrified face of the Asguardian. "And, he has to wear the outfit when we're called in to fight the next guy who's so eager to take over the world or something."

The Avengers hesitate, truly thinking about what Katniss—ahem, Clint said. Except for Steve, the only possibly sane one in the group. He groans, running his hand through his wavy blonde hair nervously. "Oh no, you guys aren't _really_ considering this, are you?" He takes one glance at Tony's excited expression and knew it's all over. "Oh. Oh you are considering this…"

Tony, clearly over the death of his coffee table, his hands quite pumped up. "Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Merida is onto something!"

"Damn right—oh c'mon, Merida? Seriously?"

"Let's move on to the Cap, shall we?" Tony says, turning to the patriotic hero. Steve stares down at Tony, giving his best stern look. It doesn't work. Of course...Tony flings a hand over Steve's neck, very casual.

"Dear ol' Mister America's punishment here, if he were to lose the bet...is that he has to sing the Star Spangled Banner in the next Yankees' baseball game!"

The Avengers cheer and nod eagerly at Tony's suggestion. At this point, Steve's face is the shade of beets. "Really? Seriously?" He says stiffly, in his straight posture. "Just what makes you think that I want to join in on this…?"

Clint answers Steve easily. "You get to make up Stark's punishment."

"I'm in."

Tony moans, giving a glare at both Steve and Clint. Clint winks at Tony. "I love you too."

Captain America considers the almighty, egostistical, billionaire's punishment. "Okay...okay…" An evil idea spins in Steve's mind. He's not one to do something so devious, but a bet's a bet. "If you were to lose the bet Stark, you would have to go live with the Amish for an entire week. In a loghouse. With no technology. Jarvis. Computers. Nada. Zilch. None." An unnatural malicious smile spreads on Steve's face that kinda creeped everyone out.

Tony's jaw drops open. "Say what nooooowww?"

Steve sits back, feeling more satisfied than he ever felt before.

"IT IS MY TURN TO GIVE THE PUNISHMENT, IS IT NOT?!" Booms out the voice of Thor. The Avengers swear that the whole floor shook for a few seconds. Thor strokes his golden beard, thoyghtful. "Haha! Friend BRUCE!" He hollers, smacking the back of the scientist.

"Oof!" Banner exclaims, nearly knocked over and glasses fallen off from the impact.

"Hmm...your punishment shall be to dress up in green clothes—ONLY GREEN CLOTHES—for a whole month!" Thor declares, looking quite pleased with himself. As for the other Avengers, not so much.

"Really? Really Thunder Man?" Tony says dubiously, not impressed.

"For a barbaric alien, you can do better than that." Natasha rolls her eyes.

Thor frowns. "All right then...Friend Bruce would have to, erm, 'spray paint' as you mortals have paints that can spray—himself green, and stay that skin tone for a whole month!"

The Avengers nod and pat Thor on the shoulder proudly. "That's more like it!" Tony says, clapping.

Bruce can only manage a meek smile. "Ehehe...very creative Thor…"

"I call Hawkeye." Natasha announces. It sounded like more like an order to the others. Her serious eyes meet Clint's, unreadable. Yet a small smirk tugs at the corners of her lips. "Now if Hawkeye were to lose…" Natasha plays her fingers up Clint's arm slowly, like a spider. Haha, irony. Her hands reach the quiver behind Clint's back—which he always keeps on at all times, ALWAYS—and pokes it. "He would have to sell it on eBay…"

Clint gives a gasp, as if he had a sudden heart attack.

"...buy a new one from Target…"

Male-Merida nearly fell off the chair as if someone shot him.

"...and use toilet plungers as arrows. And. He would have to use these new weapons in the next battle that we have…" Natasha smiles, quite content, when she sees Clint finally falls over to the ground. The guys look on sympathetically at the poor guy.

"Man Tash. Harsh. That's harsh." Tony gives out a low whistle.

The Black Widow shrugs, apathetic. "Hmph."

Clint raises a hand shakingly. "Gah—babe, c'mon. WHY?!"

Natasha playfully quicks away his hand. "Love is war, my sweet." Clint only shakes his head, dazed.

Finally, it is Bruce's turn. He smiles timidly at the group. "I supposed I have to come up with a punishment for Natasha…" Natasha smiles at the scientist, which looked good nature on the inside. But in her eyes, the look is obvious to read which translates: _Choose your words carefully, because just remember that I can always kill you, hide your body, and not leave any evidence._ Unforunately, Doctor Banner reads this very clearly. He gulps loudly, and Natasha flashes another sweet innocent smile.

Clint sees this and punches Banner lightly. "Don't worry. She's all talk and no bite. She won't _really_ kill you...just possibly make something bad happen to you."

"Thank you, for the words of comfort." Banner replies with a dry smile. He rubs his glasses, and looks at Natasha. "Alright then...I suppose your punishment if you were to lose the bet is stop your subscription of those special illegal bullets that you keep on ordering from Russia…"

Natasha's eyes flash very dangerously. She quickly regains her composure. "You're more than what meets the eye, Banner." She says begrudingly, giving a closed lipped smile.

Banner smiles weakly back. "Yes...and also you have to wear a bright pink body suit as your fighting outfit for a whole month."

The assassin freezes, and she half glare-smiles at the doctor. "_Really…?_" She says in a clipped tone.

"Y-yes...haha...yeah…"

"So we're all in on the bet, whether we like it or not. Promise, everyone." Clint says to the group in a commanding voice. They all nod, competition tense in the air.

"We promise." Everyone says in unison.

"FOR HONOR!" Thor shouts, flipping over the couch.

Tony makes the same wheezing/choking sound. "Wahhhhhhhh…c-couch...imported from Japan...no..."

"I am sorry Man of Iron." Thor flips the couch back over. It looked as if it were about to break in half. "I got a little too excited…"

_I hope that he's gonna lose for sure…_ Tony thought to himself, giving a deadly laser glare at Thor. Regaining his arrogant composure, he clasps his hands together. "So the stakes are set." He grins. "JARVIS!" He calls out. "Did you record the whole thing?"

"Yes, sir." The AI replies.

"These are my exact words JARVIS." Tony says to the AI. "Nothing can change them, not even my own word in the future. Whoever is on this very floor is in the Hugging Bet. They cannot back out AT ALL. They are in it against their own will, whether they like it or not. You hear? The Word of Tony is set in stone. Follow these exact words."

"Will do sir. Literally everyone who is on this floor, in on the Hugging Bet." JARVIS repeats. "I now have it stored in my memory. I shall keep progress of this sir. I am truly interested to see who will win the Hugging Bet…"

The Avengers stare, shocked at Tony. He shrugs. "What? Had to make the thing fullproof. That way, if any of you chumps try to back out, we have the whole thing recorded and hardcore evidence." Tony raises his hand. "Let the Hugging Bet BEGIN!" The rest of the Avengers shrug, going on with eating their sharwma as if nothing happened.

"Yes!" Thor nods. "FOR HONOR!" He screams, flinging his arm out. This resulted in the god punching Tony's special coffee maker. It shoots across the room, smashing against the wall. Everybody freezes. Uh-oh. Not the coffeemaker...ah, poor Thor, such a fool. Of all the other furniture that Thor had to break, it had to be the _coffeemaker._ He had just sentenced his fate…

Everyone stares at the ruined coffeemaker.

Thor looks guilty. "Friend Stark?"

Tony is unresponsive, staring off at his shattered coffeemaker. He mumbles, "Imported directly from the top, state of the art, always made the best coffee…"

Thor stands up awkwardly. The others signal for him to get out while he still can, waving their arms wildly. Thor nods at them, and backs away slooowwllly… "Erm, best of luck to you with the Hugging Bet...uh, I believe that Heimdall is calling for me...have to go Man of Iron!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Tony explodes, jumping to his feet. "YOU'RE SURE AS HELL THAT I'M GOING TO FUCKING AVENGE MY COFFEEMAKER! COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!" Tony screams bloody murder, chasing after Thor. At that very moment, Pepper walks in, with piles of folders in her hands.

She blinks, looking at the messed up living room. "What did I miss?" She asks cluelessy.

_**BACK TO THE PRESENT…**_

Tony sighs wistfully, remembering his poor, poor coffeemaker. He'll have to wait three months before the very top makes another one of those babies...now he has to settle with..._normal poor people's coffee..._shudder!

The billionaire quietly gets out of bed, heading to the computer room. He has to admit, he's up against some competition. The Black Widow can always sneak up on Loki and hug him from behind...When Bruce is The Hulk, the big guy can give you a pretty big hug (and break your spine) whether you like it or not...Thor is Loki's big brother (which Loki hates) but is superiorly strong to the trickster...Clint can always pin Loki to the wall with his arrows and hug him...yeah, Tony has to admit, his friends are going to give him the run for the money.

_Hmmm, nobody said that you can't cheat in the bet…hehe..._ An evil expression takes up Tony's face. "I know what to do…" He mutters, rubbing his hands evilly. He reaches the computer room, locking the room behind him. "JARVIS...rewire all criminal activity alerts to _me_ only. Hack into SHIELD's computer base with your best work, and direct all of Loki's activity only to me apart from the other Avengers!"

"Is this nesscary sir, for the bet?" JARVIS questions. "You realize by doing this, you will have to face Loki alone. And that you might possibly endanger countless lives of people in the process..."

Tony throws up his hands. "DON'T QUESTION ME COMPUTER! I am IRON FREAKING MAN!"

"Sir, I frankly think that you're taking this way too far."

"Want me to put you on 'Obey My Every Wish' mode?"

JARVIS sighs, relenting. "Right away sir."

"Good...good..." Tony smiles, wishing he had a cup of black coffee. But he could settle for something else... "Oh, JARVIS, play some sinister piano music while you're at it."

The computer sighs muttering, "Why am I putting up with this…?" And plays, 'Toccata and fugue in d minor' in the background.

"Yes...yes...YES!" Tony cackles, as lightning striking in the background, from the graces and consideration of JARVIS.

**A/N: Yes, yes...EVIL TONY! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! *lightning strikes in the background***


	3. Stark's Attempt

**A/N: Thanks for the piles of reviews, favorites, and follows! Virtual hugs for everyone! :D (It's ironic because this fic is named The Hugging Bet...yeah, a point for Captain Obvious XD) **

Zephyr169:D LMAO THIS IS GOLD! I Love this story so much. lol :D

**Thanks! XD *gives a big virtual hug***

torchil:Evil Tony is awesome! *Cackles along evilly*. Can't wait for another update!

**I know right? Before you know it, Toccata And Fugue D Minor will be his theme song! XD**

Zephyr169:PLEASE UPDATE SOON! I FREAKING LOVE THIS! I cant wait to see how Tony will sabotage the others, as well as how Loki will get on Earth. lol

**Yep, you just gotta love Evil!Tony! And just in case if you haven't noticed, in the first chapter it's said that Loki has escaped Asgard from his prison…(Or course the details are not specific, this is kinda sorta a crackfic! XD)**

Sweet-Strawberry-09:Evil Tony LOVE IT! cant wait for the next and loved the fact that you added 'toccata and fugue in d minor!

**Yeah, I love that song. The perfect evil song to play in the background when you're laughing evilly. AHAHAHAHAHA—sorry. X)**

shadowlynx14: Ahahaha X'D. I just found this hilarious. Oh and the threats! - they're so rich in humiliation! You, my dear, are quite sinister- I love it! I can't wait to see who will conquer in this tournament hugs. Lol

**Thanks for the review! Nothing like Avenger-ly (is that even a word? :o) bonding by humiliating each other. It's what makes them love each other so much! And you'll see who win...you'll see… *ominous smile***

Silvia Phenora: Hah, nicee. ;P

**Yep, the stakes are high. I'd love to see Thor in a fabulous pink dress and fight evil alien monsters in it. XD **

AlexHolmes:Pepper was on the floor as well... She's i. The bet too?!

**You make quite the theories do you? She could've just taken the elevator and arrived after they made the bet...just keep on guessing hun. ;p**

**~Chapter Three~**

Steve is sitting in Stark's living room quietly reading a newspaper part of his daily afternoon routine. Tony is also in the room with him, playing _Call of Duty_ (Steve found the video game extremely barbaric and not entertaining at all) as part of his afternoon routine as well. Suddenly: _BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!_

The blonde head looks up from his paper, seeing that Tony is fumbling with his fancy modern watch. "What's the alarm for?" He asks.

Tony manages to stop the alarm, and turns off the TV. He turns to Steve with a bright smile. "I've got a date!"

Steve puts his paper down. "Tony…!"

The CEO raises his hands defensively. "Woah, woah there Mr. Honorable, I have _standards!_ It's a figure of speech boy-o!" Tony jumps off the couch, heading for the computer room. He calls out over his shoulder. "Besides, if you're so interested to know where I'm going, I'm meeting up with an old friend. Cuz unlike SOME PEOPLE, I have an outside social life!"

Steve could only give out an annoyed sigh, burying his nose back into his newspaper. _Well, unlike SOME PEOPLE, I have manners._ He thought huffily, though didn't say it out loud. He wouldn't sink down to Stark's immature levels.

This has been going on for the past few days, Stark for some reason always going to the computer room. Though today seemed to be different, considering that his watch went off with some kind of alarm. Steve found it a little weird but not questionable.

It had been five days since the bet was made, but life went on. Though Steve had to admit, the past few days have been...uneventful. _Too_ uneventful in his opinion...really, you would've expected the God of Mischief to start causing problems once he escaped from his prison. But then again, Steve was told by Thor that Loki _could_ be pretty smart and very patient...though quite frankly, Steve still thinks that the trickster was as crazy as Tony when he's on a coffee rush.

Though Steve found the days of tranquility and _normalness_ quite...unsettling. Everytime Steve tries to ask JARVIS for reports of suspicious criminal activity, or use the computer (which is still not quite used to using) to look up SHIELD reports, nothing ever came up. Which he found really suspicious...he honestly anticipated Loki to be stealing weird things like radiocative waste or musuem artifacts. Yet nothing is happening so far…

Steve shrugs these thoughts of, reading over the column of Wall Street in mild interest. Tony probably was just as antsy about the inactivity of Loki just as him, he thought to himself in reassurance, concentrating on reading the words in front of him. Besides, he can be trusted...right?

**~0o0o0o0o~**

"Haha, sucker!" Tony mutters under his breath with a grin of triumph, once he left the living room. Today was finally the day. JARVIS finally found activity of Loki's whereabouts—it seemed that the Asguardian was vandalizing the Statue of Liberty. Typical and predictable. Tony grins once more, thinking that he had it all in the bag. Looks like he didn't need to go live with the Amish as his punishment! Cuz' he's going to see Captain Spangles sing in the next Yankees game on his newest flat screen TV! Or better yet, watch him sing from a helicopter!

Tony made his way up to the roof. Once on top, he presses his watch, activating his suit. It's go time. Once suited up, Tony soars high up into the skies, sure to be out of sight of anybody below, and most of all, Steve. He makes his way for the Statue of Liberty, ready for anything.

In a few minutes, Stark sees the towering figure of the iconic statue of America. The island she's standing on is cleared of any tourists, filled with SHIELD agents. However, there are dozens of ferries and boats surrounding the island, looking on eagerly. Tony smiles. Nothing like an onlooking audience to pump him up!

Stark swoops in closer. To his amazement and laughter, he sees that instead of a robe, the statue now wears an American themed _bikini._ A painted mustache is now on the pale green face of the Liberty Statue. (A very good looking mustache at that if Tony doesn't mind saying so himself) Instead of a torch in her hand raised in the air, it is instead pointing a middle finger. Tony nearly dropped to the water below seeing the hilarious sight. It was the ultimate vandalism act.

The Avenger then notices the god of mischief (boy did he proved his name today) sitting perched on the crown of Miss Liberty. Though, Tony didn't recognize the Asguardian at first, given the fact that the meglomaniac wasn't wearing his reindeer themed armor. At first glance...the guy looked like a normal New Yorker. Loki is dressed in a simple white T-shirt (which reads 'Fuck You.' Tony wanted that shirt immediately.) and black pants. He idly ignores the shouting SHIELD agents below, the excited tourists looking about, and the flying helicopters swarming the air. Instead he is reading, much to Tony's amusement, _Harry Potter._

"_**LOKI, COME DOWN AND SURRENDER, HANDS IN THE AIR!" **_Tony hears Nick Fury holler through a megaphone.

Loki, of course, ignores the leader of SHIELD.

"_**TONY STARK! THE HELL MAN!" **_Tony hears the screeching of Nick Fury through the megaphone. This immediately alarmed the onlooking people in the boats. Cue the fangirl screams. Tony waves cheerily on at the people in the boats. "_**STAAAARRRKK!**_" Fury screams through the megaphone. This nearly caused Tony to go death from the enhanced hearing of the suit.

"_**WHERE THE HELL ARE THE REST OF THE AVENGERS?! I SWEAR, I DON'T PAY EM' FOR NOTHING DO THIS JOB!"**_

Tony scoffs and calls down. "Please, you don't pay us at all!"

"_**THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"**_

"...Not like SHIELD is rich enough to pay _the_ Tony Stark…"

"_**STARK. WHERE. ARE. THEY." **_Of course, from Fury, anything that comes out of his mouth always sounds like an order.

"A real I dunno!" Grins Tony, proud that SHIELD hasn't found out that their system has been hacked. "They called a raincheck, so this is what you get! I'll deal with this!" _And win the bet!_ Tony thought eagerly. Before getting another yelling from Nick, Tony flies towards Loki. Even when he landed on Liberty's head, Loki still seemed not to take notice of him.

_Wait. I don't want to hug him in front of everyone._ Tony thought morbidly, realizing that there were about one hundred agents surrounding the perimeter and a thousand of onlooking eyes. Not to mention that this was probably being broadcasted...aw, shit! Tony does a facepalm.

Without looking up from the book, Loki suddenly says, "Why hello Stark. Fancy seeing you here."

Tony jumps, hearing that Loki addressed him. "Erm, why yes Mr. Trickster. Nice handiwork." He smirks, glancing over to the pointed middle finger of the green statue.

"Thank you." Loki replies, sounding somewhat sincere. "You sound as if you like it yourself. I honestly couldn't help myself, _improving_ one of Midgard's most wondurous monuments." Loki sneers, smug with his work.

"Yeah? Well Reindeer Games. The fun is over." Tony says to him, readying his weapons with his suit. "Buuuutt...what's with the normal get-up? Where's your fancy armor?" Tony asks, peering over Loki's normal outfit. Loki sighs, as if he had somewhere else better to be. He promptly closes the book in his lap, and snaps his fingers. The book disappears in mid air.

"I'm trying to keep a low profile."

"Wow, you're doing such a great job at it and all, seeing that you FREAKING VANDALIZED THE STATUE OF LIBERTY."

Loki shrugs in answer.

Tony calculates what he should do here. He could either: a) Hug surprise Loki and ruin his reputation or b) arrest the guy and find another opportunity. Though Tony ponders choice b, he highly doubted that SHIELD will let him into Loki's prison to give him a hug. Tony sighs to himself. Choice a it is. Because there is nothing worse rather than being trapped out in the middle of nowhere without any technology. Tony's nightmare.

"Well, seeing that your passive about this, I might as well give you a hug before I deliver you straight to SHIELD." Tony says. Without warning, he launches himself at Loki. In a blink of an eye, the trickster teleports out of his way. Tony crashes into the arm of Liberty.

"_**STARK!"**_ Fury screams from below.

"Sorry, sorry for kinda of jacking up New York's icon." Tony mumbles, glancing at the cracks in the stone arm. He looks back to where Loki used to be standing, infuriated. "Reindeer Games…!"

Tony suddenly gets the feeling that someone is behind him. He hears the smooth voice of Loki whisper into his ear, "Sorry Stark, I'm not a very huggy person. Let us forget this ever happened, shall we?" An electrical jolt goes through Tony before he could react, and he falls to the ground, his mind going blank.

**~0o0o0o0o~**

Nick Fury is momentarily blinded by a bright flash of green light. The next moment it's gone. And Nick forgets the reason why, among with ninety-nine other SHIELD agents, are on the Statue of Liberty island. He gasps at the sight in front of him, among with the many other agents with him. "What...the...actual _hell…?_"

For in front of them is Liberty wearing a bikini, mustache, and pointing up a middle finger instead of her honorary robes and torch.

With his one eye, Fury sees a figure on the head of the statue. Borrowing a random agent's binoculars, he is greeted with a horrific sight. And that is Iron Man—who is _not_ wearing his iron suit—in fact, he wasn't wearing anything at all except wearing Iron Man themed boxers. Fury groans hearing dozens of nearby teenage girls on the boats, screaming at the sight of a shirtless Tony Stark.

Fury rubs his head, realizing that he had no idea why SHIELD was on the Liberty island having their weapons pointed at the Liberty statue. And how the Liberty Statue became...vandalized. And how Tony Stark is on top of the statue only in his boxers. Nick shakes his head yelling through the micrphone, "_**GET YO IRON BARE ASS DOWN HERE STARK!"**_ He hollers, veins popping out in his forehead.

He breathes out, seding some poor agents to climb up the many stairs of liberty. Mr. Fury needs an aspirin...He looks over to a fellow SHIELD agent next to him and says, "...Tell me why the hell are we here again?"

**A/N: Yep, that was Tony's attempt to hug Loki. And he failed miserably. XD**


	4. Sayeth What Noooowwww?

**A/N: Guess what guys. I'll give you a moment. ...I'm baaaaaacccckkkkkkkkkk. :D:D:D:D I'm sorry for the long awaited update. I've been juggling other fics, and I also had no idea what to write for this chapter. XD But don't worry, I came back into the game.**

torchil:I totally love what Loki did to the Stature of Liberty and Tony. I can't wait for the attempts of the others. Muahahahahahahaha!

**Don't worry, the Avengers will be as humiliated (more or less) like Tony when they try to hug-attack Loki. **

Pinkstarlight13:Oh my God! That's freaking hilarious! I love this story already.

**Thank you! ^_^**

Sweet-Strawberry-09: Great it was awsome!

Also does JARVIS count since he is technically part of that floor?

**Well...unless JARVIS can take over someone's body, I don't think he's part of the bet. XD**

Zephr169: XD THAT WAS AMAZING! lol XD haha!

**Who WOULDN'T want to see Tony Stark almost STARK naked (HAHAHAHAHA-sorry) on top of Lady Liberty?! XD**

Maria Paula: Love it!And Loki will be a difficult prey XD. What the others will do? Poor Steve,evil!Tony will continue?

**For each chapter, I'm planning to write each of the Avengers' attempt to hug Loki. ;) Don't worry, evil!Tony will pop up in some of the chapters. **

Squibble the WhovianBreadstick: I think I nearly had a laughing seizure. Tears, uncontrollable giggles, choking gasps, hiccups, snorts, rolling around, shaking, falling out of my chair... yeah.

**Breaaathhhhhhheeeee child. Breathe into this paper bag. *hands you paper bag* The most reliable air force. XD (Or source? I dunno)**

awesomest99er:This is hilarious.

Especially the schwarmas or however you pronounce it I already forgot. :P

**Shaaawwwwarrmmmaaa. (I think that's how it's spelled…)**

awesomest99er: If Black Widow had a kid with Clint then it would look something like Merida. :P

The part about avenging the coffee maker was hilarious. Also the evil Tony. :P

**Oh wait...you're right! 0_o That should be some sort of crossover! :D**

**~Chapter Four~**

Natasha, Clint, and Bruce barge into Steve's floor without any permission. And Steve happened to be singing to the American Anthem while icing a cake American themed style. "EEK!" He shrieks, turning red in the face.

The other four Avengers stare incredulously at Steve. "This is what you do in your spare time? Man Rogers! You really are a true American! You're so American it scares me...sometimes I think that you're born on July 4th." Clint snickers. "But that cake looks delicious…"

Steve huffs, ripping off his apron. "Have you people ever heard of knocking? And as a matter of a fact, I am born on July 4th…"

"Seriously?!" Clint gapes. Natasha smacks the back of his head.

"That's besides the point." She rolls her eyes. But she smirks at Steve. "But seriously?"

Steve turns a shade redder. "What are you guys here for anyway?"

"Did you watch the news yet?" Natasha asks.

"No, why do you ask? Is Loki up to no good?" He says the last part a little hopefully.

A huge grin is on Bruce's face that Steve never seen before. "Man oh man, you don't even know? It's all over the channel!" Bruce grabs the remote, and flips on the channel. Steve looks over, interested of why the Avengers were so excited.

"_...Today is certainly an interesting turn of events."_ A blonde haired reporter says, looking at the camera with a scary white smile that is almost blinding. "Lady Liberty is vandalized, the perpetrator still unknown. And boy did the vandalist went full out!" The camera pans to the Stature of Liberty. Steve nearly had a double heart attack. She is wearing a _bikini!_ How inappropiate!

He smashes the counter with a fist. The other Avengers stare at him, a little taken aback by his sudden change in attitude. "Who's the bastard that disgraced Lady Liberty?" He growls, glaring hatefully at the now vandalized statue.

"Calm down Mr. America, this ain't a big deal!" Clint says, who is clearly laughing.

Steve flipped out. "Calm down? CALM DOWN?! Don't tell me that! America today has been disgraced! DISGRACED I TELL YOU!" Steve says, grabbing him by the collar.

"Well gee Spangles. Just keep on watching!" Clint points at the TV.

At this moment, Thor walks in. "Hello friends, I have see that you gathered here - ah, you are watching the magical enchanted box called a 'telly-vision!'" Thor booms out, and joins the others in watching the news.

"_Strangely, tourists and citizens were evacuated from the Liberty island, authority covering the base. And even stranger, everyone has seemed to forget who vandalized the statue...and why Tony Stark was in his underpants on top of Lady Liberty!"_

The camera pans to a very confused looking Tony on top of the statue. Only wearing his boxers. _Iron Man_ themed boxers…

"SAYETH WHAT NOOOOOOW?" Thor hollers at the top of his lungs, his eyes bulging out in shock.

Steve looks flabbergasted as well. "What on earth?"

"Pretty big, right?" Bruce grins, snorting in laughter.

Clint nudges him. "You can say that he's _Stark_ naked! HAHAHA! See what I did there?!"

"Wow. So clever." Natasha rolls her eyes. "How do you think the idiot ended up there half naked on the statue anyway?"

At that exact moment, Fury and a couple of other agents enter the room. Tony is grasped by two huge men, still in his boxers. "Hey, hey, HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE!" He yells like a little toddler in a tantrum.

Fury looks furious. "Avengers. Here's your mascot idiot back." He juts his head over to the half naked CEO. On cue, the two men throw Tony at the Avengers. He lands on top of Steve, and the two rolls on the floor. The Avengers and SHIELD agents snicker at their awkward position. Absolutely red, Steve throws Tony off him.

"Fury, what happened here?"

"We have no idea." Fury shrugs. "I remember that my men and I were at SHIELD HQ - the next moment, we were standing on Liberty Island with our weapons pointed at a vandalized Lady Liberty. And that Tony was naked up there almost naked." He glares at Tony, who dives behind Bruce.

"I'm telling ya, it was Loki, he did it! He vandalized the statue, then casted some kind of forgetting memory spell on you guys - and he took my freaking suit!" Tony shrieks the last part out.

Everyone stares at him. "Wait, you only wear your underwear under your suit?" Clint asks suddenly, horrified.

"Sayeth what noooowwww?" Thor says, the truth dawning upon him.

Tony turns red.

"And you said that this was Loki's doing? If it was, how come WE weren't there with you?" Natasha shoots at Tony.

He looks like he was sweating buckets now. "Uhhhhmmmm, because I was going undercover as a tourist?"

"And that's the other things. Some SHIELD members reported that someone hacked into our system to direct all reports of Loki's activity to them - which is none other than this little asshole, Stark." Nick gives a death glare at Iron Man with his one eye.

Everyone looks at him with an angry or 'you better have a good explanation for this if you want to live' kind of look. Tony gives out a nervous laugh. "I can explain?"

Steve looks deadpan at the others. "How much do you guys bet that fangirls will attack him the moment he steps out of Stark Tower?"

The other Avengers, Fury, and agents look back at Captain America, deadpan as well. "Only one way to find out." Bruce says back to Steve as they all slowly advance to Tony.

"Oh shit." He simply states, as he cowers against the wall in fear.

**A/N: Poooorrr Tony. Karma's a bitch isn't it? Sorry that there was no one attempting anything in this chapter, I was too lazy to write it and I had no idea what to write. This is just a filler-in. Next chapter: Steve's Attempt!**


End file.
